LOST

I dont know how this relationship is gonna work out, or it just wont work out? There is too much I want and I am afraid he is not able to give, and there is too much i am not satisfied and cant forget and he is not able to live up to my expectation. Am I asking for too much? I dont think so, I want a complete and happy family life, but I cant bear a third person who has his blood. Maybe I dont love him that much. But love is selfish. I dont know, dont know. I am lost. He will just push me away if he keeps finding excuses.
Or, he has already lost my trust??haha...whose fault? I cant see the future...What am I doing now????